Just thoughtful.

[funny_herman]

Danny and Frankie are spending a lot of time together. A lot. I wouldn't say that they are particularly affectionate toward each other. Indulgent, is the word, I think.

In the meantime, I am slowly coming to terms with what has been bothering me. I've been trying too hard to not feel sad. I've had my bouts with grief, but each time I do I push it further back within me. The pasted-on happy face and demeanor diminish all too easily, and the pain comes back all too strongly.

I have to live with it. I simply have to live with it. And I must move on.

Adam is still in the hospital. It seems as though he's been there for an inordinately long time. I wonder what he would say if I were to show up....

Comments

[ever-fuckable.livejournal.com]

You've lost! Are you kidding me, canary? Are you seriously joking? My God, do you know some people go their entire lives without knowing the stupidity of being in love? Do you know how euphoric that feeling is? Of course you do, you fucking lug.

So you've loved and loss. So you've done it more than one time. Do you realise how many people would be jealous for just the first time? My fucking God, how Goddamned lucky does one guy have to be to experience that thing more than once?

I don't like love, Herman. Don't get me wrong, I'm not getting soft. But hell. You must got a hell of a lot to give if you have more than one. And on that note, sorry your such a good person. Really fucking sucks sometimes. You're a lot fucking braver than I.

[funny-herman.livejournal.com]

*he raises his eyes a moment to watch him as he speaks, his brow furrowed, then lowers them again to pick at a loose thread*

I don't feel any more special than the next person. I certainly don't feel brave. And now you've just succeeded in making me feel selfish for some reason. *utters a mirthless chuckle and rubs his forehead in frustration*

[ever-fuckable.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Well. I'm good at that.

*He turns away from him playing idly with the cuffs. He then folds his arms around himself not having anything more to say, not particularly feeling like saying anything.*

[funny-herman.livejournal.com]

*after a moment of heavy silence, he sticks his hands in his pockets and paces toward the far end of the room* You could be right, though, in a way. *sniffs and clears his throat, turning to face him* Well. Is there anything I can get you before I leave?

[ever-fuckable.livejournal.com]

*He holds his breath thinking of a veritable list of things he desires to have. But when finally it all comes back to one thing he breathes out and looks at him in complete seriousness.* You can get me the hell out of here.

[funny-herman.livejournal.com]

*he raises his eyes and meets his gaze with equal seriousness* I'll try.

*he reaches out and gives him a reasurring pat on the shin before he turns toward the door*

[ever-fuckable.livejournal.com]

You do that, canary. *He sinks his head back into the pillow drowsily.*