funny_herman | Return of the Former Me.

Current Mood: avoidant

Return of the Former Me.

I think I have reverted back to the way I used to be.

I do my duties and I leave. I go from Point A to Point B without wavering. Conversations dwindle to an exchange of trite phrases and then I completely shut off.

I don't want to be like this.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

*after Danny leaves, Frankie stands in front of the door with her hands jammed into her pockets, chewing on her bottom lip and trying to decide exactly how the fuck she's going to do this*

*with a sigh, puffing her lips out and ballooning her cheeks as she exhales, she rap-tap-taps on the door*

Herman, it's Frankie. You decent? Mind you, if you say 'no' I'm gonna come in anyway, I just thought I'd be polite and ask first.

*Herman, still sitting on the couch, sets the sheet music aside with a soft sigh, he gets up and goes to the door. He opens it a crack about two inches wide, and peeks out with one blue eye.*

*with a purr* I have never been more indecent than I am now, liebling.

*after a brief pause, he stands back and opens the door all the way* Just kidding. *he smiles a little, not entirely able to hide the melancholy*

Good Emcee impression. Uncanny, really. *kisses his cheek as she enters* And what would you have done if that purr of yours had inspired me, hapless and impressionable girl that I am, to jump your bones?

*plunks down on the couch, careful not to disturb the sheet music, and folds her legs underneath her, regarding him with slightly narrowed eyes* It wasn't an impression, was it? You ate the Emcee and absorbed his personality, and you've been keeping to yourself because you're suffering from terrible indigestion.

*turns to her with a straight face and deadpans:* Yes. Exactly. Nothing gets past you, does it? I probably would not have protested if you'd jumped me, given that the Emcee's personality has permeated my being.

*shuts the door and wanders over to the couch, and he gathers up the sheet music into a neat stack*

Suspenders and all, huh? Must've been...hard to chew.

*decides humor isn't going to work and opts for being straightforward* Herman...if you'd rather I not be here, tell me, and I'll go.

*glances at her with a strained expression* No...don't go. Please. *sets the stack of paper on the seat of the chair and sits beside her, exhaling a sigh*

Okay.

*reaches out to smoothe hair off of his brow; quietly:* Don't fade away on us, Herman.

*shakes his head, staring at some vague spot on the wall* I won't. I'll try not to, at least. I'm not sure why it's suddenly become so difficult for me -- I thought I was all right. I thought I'd found a way to deal with it. To live with it. Now I almost feel as if... *shrugs a shoulder* As if I have no purpose to be here.

*feels an overwhelming sadness settle on her like a heavy blanket* Oh, Herman. You're essential.

*glances at her helplessly* I know, I know... It's just... I suppose when Molly gave me the little knit hat her daughter made, it all hit me, how much I've lost. *sighs and puts a hand on her knee* I know I still have you, and Danny, and everyone else who's been kind to me, but a part of me died that day and that's not going to change.

*he inadvertently sniffs as a lump wedges in his thoat* I thought I could handle it. I really thought I could.

*her heart breaks at his admission and she swallows hard, blinking back a suspicious brightness at the corners of her eyes*

*when she first opens her mouth, her voice wavers and cracks a little* I wish...I could say that I know it'll get easier, but I don't, I have no idea, and I can't lie to you, Herman.

But I do know that you're one of the strongest men I've known to've even come this far...

*he squeezes her knee, then crosses his arms and rubs his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers; with another sigh:* Maybe...maybe I'm trying too hard. *he passes his hand over his face and looks at her with red-rimmed eyes* Trying too hard to...get over the pain. Because that in itself is painful, and...I think I'm just distancing myself from everyone more and more in the process because I don't want anyone to become despondent on my account.

Someone told me that...trying too hard to avoid feeling something just makes it that much worse. Different situation, but...I think...I think it still applies.

*he chews the inside of his lower lip and turns back to the random spot on the wall, his brow knitted in thought; some amount of silence passes*

Thank you. I just needed to hear that. And I just needed to...talk.

*smiles faintly and shrugs* 'Swhat I'm here for.

*manages a faint smile of his own* And you do a very good job of being here. *pauses* Did you want to talk to me about something...? Or did you just want to...have a pre-show warm-up chat of sorts?

*shrugs again* The latter. Haven't talked to you much since you got back. *chuckles* Was having Herman withdrawals, I guess.

*chuckles bashfully* Oh... I didn't think such an affliction existed.

Oh, but it does. See, the only real sympton is a very specific kind of pout, goes kind of like--*screws her mouth up to one side and exhales a sigh, resulting in a raspberry blowing the fringes of her hair around*--that.

Ahh, I see. Very debilitating indeed. I'm glad you received a dose of me just in time.

*sage nod* It was a very close call.

*nods in agreement* Mmm. And it's going to be another very close call if we don't get onstage right about now.

*glances at the clock, shouting "Fuck!" as she almost literally bounces off the couch and right out the door*

*he laughs loudly at her reaction, and after gathering up the stack of sheet music, he leisurely follows her path out the door*

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Return of the Former Me.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject