*as soon as the words leave his mouth and as soon as he sees the resulting reaction, he knows he's lost his chance. With his heart sinking in his chest, he draws away. Putting his hands into his pockets again he moves over to the bed. The shades are still down and the approaching pale afternoon light spills through the seams about the window coverings. He sits on the bed and leans forward to rest his forearms on his thighs. He stares at the floor and shakes his head, muttering something to himself.*

Don't feel that way. Don't feel foolish. I'm full of it.

*he lifts his head and looks at Herman.*

I'm full of shit, Herman, I really am sometimes. You know, I say these things to people thinking that, "yea, that sounds right, say that and that'll make them think you're an upright kinda guy". But, I'm not. I'm not upright, and I'm not patient.

*he chuckles a bit, finding only a little mirth in the situation.*

I sounded like I could wait, didn't I? I even convinced myself that I could wait for you. But, I can't. I...

*he gets up again, but doesn't move from the edge of the bed.*

I get attached too fast, you know? I sleep with you, and then that's it! You'll have me by the nose. I barely know you, and yet, here I am wondering what it would be like to wake up next to you in the mornings. Mama always said, "ten seconds or ten years, chemistry is chemistry". I never knew what the hell that meant until I met you. I've never met anyone like you. You're just... amazing.

*he runs a hand through his hair, pushing it into a disarray.*

I don't mean to hurt you, Herman and I'm not turning you down. I do want you but I also want to go out with you and shoot some stick and get wasted and shit like that.

*spreading his hands out in front of him he looks pleadingly at the man still leaning against the door. He sighs and looks away, his voice sounding shy and hopeful when he speaks again:*

What do you want from me?