The Observer

The Maestra has said that Fraulein Schneider will consider the idea of my moving in. Next time I see her, I should state my own case. Maybe bring her some flowers, too. *chuckles*

*sighs* Lately I feel that our group is splitting up into separate clusters. I don't know if that observation is just mine...and I don't claim to know what goes on after everyone leaves the club. But now that I think about it, even the Maestra and I have formed our exclusive little duo. Maybe it is because I have been a part of this group for so long that I can see and feel the changes. Granted, everybody and everything changes over time...it is just that part of me that wishes to keep some things the way they were before they changed.

I think a truth that I need to accept is that I myself have changed.

Today Lulu left to take the weekend off. I know she has certainly been lonely. Frenchie has been keeping to herself as well. I do not know what else I can do to bring them out more. Unless of course...it is their choice to be alone.

*scoffs* I am one to talk... I have been alone for years. And willingly. But just because I have managed to break the spell does not mean I should leave others behind.

Giselle had been feeling depressed for a while, ever since Rosie got better. I had seen how they had avoided each other. (I think they've reconciled now, though I saw Giselle leave with Danny last night...hmm.)

And speaking of which, I have seen Ophilia, Dolores, Frl. Kost, and Danny constantly come and go, always in some combination of twos or threes.

Sally is off being her fabulous self. She likes us well enough, though I believe she thinks it does not become her to mingle too freely with the rabble after hours. *snickers* She will talk to me, of course. I do not mind being a mere cabaret boy for her.

I always think about Frankie in the hospital, and Fritzie in jail...or wherever she may be if she is out by now, though I would have thought she'd come back to us.

Which brings to mind someone else who has completely disappeared: Liza. We had such a friendship. She said she would leave without warning. And that is exactly what she did. I do not take it personally...but I thought she would at least give me some small sign.

And then there's Helga. ...It seems to me that each time I see her, she has "grown up" a little more. There is just something about her now that I had not seen before...

Ah, yes: The Emcee. ...Well, I still have no idea what he's up to.

I think it's quite amazing, all the highs and lows we have experienced... It makes me wonder what my life would be like now had I not stayed.